Getting Cocky: A Democrat Opens The Playbook

You have to give Timothy Noah points for honesty although I'm sure he's received more than a few calls telling him to shut the hell up. Noah is salivating over the prospect that Democrats will control all three branches of government and will finally be able to be honest about who they really are:

"The campaigns themselves can't afford to believe it. Many journalists know it but can't say it. And there will certainly be some twists and turns along the way. But take it to a well capitalized bank: Bill Ayers isn't going to save John McCain. The race is over...For the past quarter-century, liberals have sweated and strained trying to make their worldview palatable to a Republican-electing nation."

Even though it's only the eighth inning in a one run game, Noah can't contain himself and is going to pop the champagne now:

"It still isn't wise for Obama to say them, but maybe the New Complacency will loosen other tongues within the political mainstream. Even if it doesn't, it's fun to think about what those utterances might be..."

Here's some examples of the liberal positions that America is too stupid and immature to embrace if Democrats expressed them directly and honestly. They have to lie for your own good doncha' know.

*I think Karl Marx had some valuable insights into capitalist economies!

*I think Mormons are kooks!

*The Second Amendment does too allow government to ban handguns!

*If Israel isn't out of the occupied territories in six months, we'll cut off all aid.

*Higher gas prices are good because they make everybody bike and take public transit like they should!

*America won't be the world's most powerful nation forever. And you know what? Handing that responsibility off will be a relief!

*America's official languages should be English and Spanish!

*Big-city values are better than small-town values!

*We're going to need affirmative action for a long time.

*We're undertaxed. Look at Europe!

*Terrorism isn't that big a threat to America!

*I don't support the troops. I support some troops, depending on whether or not they've committed war crimes!

*I'm not a "progressive," for Pete's sake. I'm a liberal!

*I'm not a "liberal," for Pete's sake. I'm a leftist!

*I'm not a "leftist," for Pete's sake. I'm a democratic socialist!

*The problem with public schools is private schools!

Thanks Timmy! If your team doesn't win, we'll hide you in a small Mormon town somewhere and protect you with well oiled handguns.